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♥ Picture after hair cut ♥
3.31.2006
Was getting ready to meet Kristel and get my passport updated, so silly-O-me decided to snap some pictures (which all you asses call cam whoring).
note: I did not photoshop the images other than adding the shapes, text and so on.
Now, drool over this.
 Penned at 11:11 PM
♥ Beauty and the Beast retold by JJ (part 1) ♥
Now, all of us heard of the pretty and the ugly, the kind and the evil, the pure and the tainted fairytale BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. At least I hope so, if not, hope on to the nearest library, grab one and read.
Anyway, that's what the creator of that tale wish to show the pathetic children. And they live happily ever after. NO. NOT IN MY WORLD, NOT ON MY BLOG, MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
You've read the dumb tale that describes Belle as the perfect woman, second to Cinderella =D. Don't ask me why but I like glass slippers and recently there's a appearance of glass bra. But have you pesky people EVER thought about how Belle felt? No? How the Beast felt? No? (note: I shall call him beast beast beast since I don't remember seeing IT with a name)
I shall begin my humble story (what? YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ON? BORING? Crap, go away then).
Once upon a time, not so long from our time (which is now you assholes), there lived a pretty girl named Belle. Now, now, Belle had two sisters, Ding and Dong. Together they are Ding, Dong, Belle. And their cat you ask? Well. Yes, it's name is well. (Ding dong bell, pussy in the well. Pussy as in cat).
Belle looks ordinary, except for a few pimples on her forehead, some blackheads populating her nose, crooked teeth, small eyes, oily hair, dirty fingernails. That's ordinary, comparing to the present society. She wore cheapskate trail slippers that goes "piak piak" as she brings her heavy butt down the stairs.
Belle (together with her sisters) has only her father. Mother died during the bubble tea craze, choked on 4 bubbles. And Belle's father, is an ordinary working class who carries hello kitty lunch boxes to work everyday. He owns a very respectable vehicle, a bicycle.
Belle did ALL the chores at home, while her sisters went for spa, facial, manicure, sliming, fattening, botoxing, and bla bla bla. One day, her father decided (out of the blue) to travel to some ulu ulu (deserted) island not far from where they were. For what? I guess he craved for coconut juice and expects nothing but the rawest and freshest.
Before he depart for death, he asked his three daughters what they would like. Since obviously this typical working class doesn't have much inheritance. Buzzer.
Ding said: I want the most glamourous dress made out of mermaid tail scales.
Father: I shall try, since you are dumb enough to request for such crazy item. I might as well play along.
Dong: I want the biggest diamond you can find father.
Father: You dumbass, I'm going to ulu ulu island! There's no diamonds there!
Belle: I just want a stalk of rose. ( I told you Belle is ORDINARY, TYPICAL AND BORING)
Father: Very well. Whoever said that flowers represent the female sex organ. Rubbish! Don't they know that there's MALE and FEMALE parts in a flower? DUMB ASSES.
And so he went off, in his rusty ol BMX bike. While he rode, the bicycle went "eeeeeek....orrrrrrrr......eeeeeeek.....orrrrrrr".
Being too poor to even get a boat ticket (ALL the money were spent on the two pretty bimbotic daughters of his), he swam right across. Lucky for him, heaven decided to storm up and put HUGE currents in the sea. Not so lucky for him, he went the wrong way and landed on island ooga ooga.
In short, puala oola.
He laid on the smelly beach, with plastic wrappers of mamee maggie mee and bottles of virgin. WOW, DID I TRAVEL BACK IN TIME?! He exclaimed. NOBODY drinks virgin now, it's as good as extincted!
With that, he collected all the plastic bottles, hoping to fetch at least 10 buck each for them. Afterwards, he decided to venture off into the deep jungle. We all know this fella is supposed to be chased by wolves and went into the Beast's lair right? Viola, only that NOW, I want hungry monkeys to chase him.
The monkeys jumped down from the trees and chased the fatso, he yelled. And he died on the spot, eated by the monkeys. The End.
YOU WISH!
He didn't die, but he was eaten alright, only the eyeballs. So he's blind. Why eyeballs you migh ask, BECAUSE I SAID SO AND I DON'T KNOW THE DIET OF AN AVERAGE WILD MONKEY, SO SHUT UP AND READ ON.
He groped (check dictionary, it doesn't always means putting your hand at the groin) his way around and felt somthing cool to his touch. And so he shouted: HELP!!!
The gates opened, and he crawled in. Once inside, he smelled pungent smell of rotting bananas. And as he crawled, he was covered in slimy liquid, like the feel of semen all over you when you...nevermind.
After much struggle, he reached inside the living room of the three room flat. Being blind, he can't see. And THOUGHT that he's lucky enough to be in an O so big private estate with a built in swimming pool and kiddy playpen.
Inside the 3-room flat, he heard funny voices, MANY voices. Coming from one corner. It went like this.
"Mistubishi electrics..bzz...bzz..."
"Catch LOST all new season ONLY on five"
"Next on survivor..."
And the faggot was HORRIFIED. AHH! THERE'S A MONSTER THAT CHANGES IT'S VOICE SO RANDOMLY (like someone I know. hmm).
Then other voices came in.
"bring him tea, quick"
"stool! Come squat where you're supposed to"
"Lava lamp, come closer, i can't see a thing. OH YOU FUCKING THING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A LAMP AND YET YOU DON'T GIVE MUCH LIGHT!"
"SHUT UP TV I CAN'T CONCENTRATE"
Guess who's talking? Candle? NO. Teapot? NO. Clock? NO. Then what?
A freaking Canon A520 digital camera with scratches all over the screen.
Camera: HI, I'm the steward in this MANSION, you can call my cum.
Father: CUM?! Isn't that...
Cum: yes, yes i know. It isn't very clean is it. Things goes wrong with human tongues these days. First they can call you cam cam cam. One slip and they call you CUM.
Father: I see
and he groped around for anything near him. THERE. He got hold of something fresh, clean, fragrant. A ROSE.
Air freshener: You can call me freshener, since people always get fresh with me. =). And that thing you're holding, it's an artificial flower by the way. Fragrant? OH, it comes from my ass. I hate to admit it, but people love smelling my bottoms.
Belle's father was stunned, he didn't know such people with weird names exist. WORSE, he don't even know that they're not human!
Cos he's like our superstar champion TAN WEI LIAN.
What will happen to this old chang kee sotong head, will he be roasted? fried? stewed? Or simply microwaved?!
Yawns, continue another day ba. This? Yea it happens in little Singapore.
Penned at 1:39 AM
♥ This is an entry, cos I said so ♥
3.30.2006
I am a pretty boy and you know it.
Now shut up and worship me.
Or you can choose to read some of the classics =D.
Going JB with sister on following monday, PREPARE FOR PHOTO EXPLOSION.
YES, it's my first time to JB. So freak off if you're thinking "aiyo, mountain tortoise"
Penned at 1:17 AM
♥ Reading time ♥
3.28.2006
BEFORE WeiWen (sister) came back with the set of LOTR vcd, I had been thinking that LOTR is boring shit. Like matrix. I don't understan why people go gaga over such...such..unreality.
People ALL AROUND me asked whether I watch those big time movies like LOTR and Matrix or whatever. The only movie I watched, and made people queue like mad on the first screening, is Harry Potter.
One fine afternoon (primary school compo), when the sun is sunny and the clouds are cloudy, where the birds chirped birdyly and the basketball court beside my house is filled with sweaty pigs. I decided to sit down, make some coffee, tear open a big packet of ruffles and stare at all the hobbits, wizards and orcs from LOTR. Elves especially.
So It began with Frodo sitting in some forest jungle plains place. Then Gandalf rode in and bla bla bla. So I watched. Till the end of the trilogy.
Today, I regretted watching the movie BEFORE reading the book. You see, if you saw the movie before reading the book, as you read, pictures from the movie starts floating in your mind.
Face it people, we all got different imagination. Some of us can imagine hobbits to grow some antennas (hahahaha), or have ultra rough skin. But no, when I read the part describing Frodo, it began when he was 33 years old.
OH MY GOD. Then the shorty hobbit from the movie appeared in my mind. HIM? THIRTY THREE? WTF?
People, people. The movie only shows the director's view of the storybook. The way he sees those hobbits and creatures. If I had not seen the movie, I would think that the hobbit is short and ugly with warts growing all over the face, make that butt too.
So, we don't venture into our own imagination of how the story looks like, we refer to other people's way of seeing them. GAH
Do you know that Frodo was 50+ when he sets off from the shire? Do you know that at the celebration of Blibo's 111 birthday, the dragon fire cracker is set off by Gandalf himself? And that it flew past the hobbits 3 times? That's what I think I read.
I am at page 50+ now, and the movie covers these 50 pages in like, 20 minutes? 30 minutes? Maybe less, but can't be more.
You know what? Nevermind if you don't get what I'm trying to say.
Penned at 5:56 PM
♥ Crazy people ♥
3.27.2006
I don't know when it started, but after secondary school, I am fortunate enough to meet a variety of not-so-well-up-there people. And since then, I've been complaining that Singapore is FULL of these weird/crazy people (no I'm not being rude, at least I think I'm not). I'm sure you people have met at least one or two of such weirdos, no I'm not trying to draw a line between the normals and the mad (maybe I am).
It totally freaks me out when a person suddenly jump infront of me and asks me for 45 cents so that he can takea busl.
That that sound weird to you?
No, so let me continue. He is well dressed, like typical business people. Except that he's wearing those rubber slippers with the ugly blue strap. Then he asks you in almost perfect english: Excuse me, do you have forty-five cents. I don't have enough money and i need to take the bus.
HELLO?! Being a meanie, I just shook my head and said no. Because I can't catch his FLUENT english. Meibin however, understood his language because she had met this guy SEVERAL times. And dug out a 50 cent coin for him.
LIKE HECK?! It cost 90 cents at least to take a ride. At least that's what I think. You see, my ezlink was low on cash so I had to use coins one time. From my house to the interchange, townlink bus, it cost 90 cents. SO WHY THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT GUY ASKING FOR 50% OF THE FARE?~
So I assume he's crazy. When he's gone, the auntie queueing in front of us turned and said that he's kuku too. SEE?! Don't always think that I'm bias or racist, I'M NOT.
The next incident happened at my workplace (that time). There's this woman, whom I didn't know was MAD, who came up to my counter and settled her purchase. Don't ask me what, I don't remember. SO, being a newcomer, I'm extremely polite to her.
HOW THE HELL WOULD I KNOW SHE'S CRAZY. She started having small talks with me, and the queue is getting longer. But (being a polite boy) I can't ask her to shoo away. And so she stood AT MY COUNTER and talked and talked and talked. About how she despise MEN and slutty women. GAHS.
So other experienced aunties working with me, told me to ignore her (I assume they know she's crazy). And so I did as i was told, ignore. A few days after that incident, she came back and created hell. She always start with peaceful talks, then, started cursing and scolding. Lastly resort to SHOUTING.
MAD WOMAN. She does that everytime she comes (did I mention she always wear the same thing? And her leg is covered in powder each time.). Once, she shouted so loudly at my supervisor, the whole supermarket could hear her. And innocent-o-me, was dragged into their dispute. THE MAD WOMAN POINT AT ME AND SCOLD ME LIKE FUCK. GAHS.
Finally my supervisor decided to call the police. =)
That's mad people for you.
Today, I went out with crystal. All was well, we watched Nanny McPhee after dinner. HAH. It's supposed to be pronounced as NEH-NI MAC-FEE right? We called it NEH-NI MAC-PI. Same pronounciation as PEE.
So after that, while waiting for bus. This "normal looking" man approached me at the interchange and stood next to me. I had my earphone on, so I wasn't sure if he's talking to someone using bluetooth or something. But his mouth keep mumbling something, so I assume he's talking on the phone right?
I was so freaked out when he turned SUDDENLY with those kinda "you wanna get raped?" smile. Then, he seems to have gotten into a fit. And started having SUDDEN JERKS. MAD MAN.
I was SO worried because you know those lane at interchange? There's only him and me. So it means the whole bus will be like, him, me and the driver. Hence, i kept praying that someone will join the queue.
F-ING PEOPLE
you know what? The bus came and nobody joined the queue. You know why? Because they stood OUTSIDE the lane so they can avoid the queue and just hop right on the bus when it comes. SICKENING
I could've puked tonight
Penned at 11:32 PM
♥ Footsteps ♥
OMG It's 2.23 AM and I hear footsteps outside my room. Yes, I live in a 4 room flat and worse, my room is by the corridor. It's spooky, those who've been to my humble room. Imagine me surfing the net halfway (no not porn, if you want to know I'm at the channel 8 website again), then there's this stilettos (pardon me) clack clack clack sound. Ah, it's horrible. And those who bothered staying up all night talking to me over the phone should know that I ALWAYS hear weird noises in my room. Like, i hear bumps coming from my wardrobe, I hear the moving of funitures in the middle of the night, I hear stumping of feet upstairs. And miraculously, the bouncing of marbles stopped long ago.
Now imagine me all alone in my room blogging this down. AH.
Oh, I do have friends who will talk to me over the phone until midnight. =) I like to chat on the phone, about? ANYTHING. But don't even get me started if you don't have the patient for VERY FREQUENT calls. Because I will haunt you and make you talk to me like, everyday?
Like I was saying, I'm on channel 8's website again. And "coincidentally" I saw this interview with Ben Yeo, the sporty married boy.
And being a super child-like GUY, I read on.
I can't believe he's already married till this day ok. Not because of his age. But because of the way he carries himself, so, kiddy.
So I asked myself this: given my present character, won't i shock myself to death if I get married at 20+?
THIS IS HORRIBLE, AH!
Imagine me, such a carefree, woeless, happy-go-lucky person, suddenly tied down by the word "MARRIAGE" That's the end for me man. I want to play, and really not be under somebody's nose.
(For the last time) Imagine this:
Wife: JJ ar, can you help me cook today?
JJ: (gosh, I can't even fry an egg) Oh ok.
~~~several HOURS later~~~
ding dong*
Wife: OH MY GOD! YOU ORDERED MACDONALDS?!
JJ: eh, haha?
Wife: I WANNA DIVORCE!
THAT is certainly going to happen, I'm positive.
Did I skip the part about bedtime?
Wife: (clothed in sexy nightwear) JJ~~~
JJ: what? (busy typing his new blog entry)
Wife: Can you look here for a moment?
JJ: (still busy typing) Aiyo, what you want la!
Wife: ARGHS FORGET IT (rips the gown apart and run naked around the house)
The next day, police came and arrested wife for running around NAKED.
AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Next on the list: CHILDREN
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Maybe I will use them as an excuse to play all those computer games and avoid doing housework on weekends!
Child: PAPA! EY DOO NOO HAWW TU PLAY TIS
JJ: Come i teach you (snatch the console and hit the buttons until dinnertime)
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Cannot cannot, i feel weird just thinking about it. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
So you see, I am so not prepared for this kinda stuffs. I just don't feel ADULT enough. BWAHS
AYE anyway, isn't it too early to think of that for someone who hasn't even began shaving? =)
Penned at 2:21 AM
♥ I feel so stupid ♥
3.26.2006
I always got this thinking that I'm dumb, literally. Why, you might ask. Just some funny thinkings la.
You see, a few days back, Maveric and Terrence asked me to go to their birthday celebration (which is today) and I told them I will confirm later. So, from then on, I've been thinking. Eh, Maveric and Terrence younger than me meh? Don't look like. And this afternoon when I woke up and looked at the calendar, FUCKING HELL. I realized it's actually March la. Yes people, I'm still living in 2005 December.
That's why I keep thinking that Maveric and Terrence's birthday falls on december (which I thought is NOW).
I'M STILL LIVING IN 2005!
GAHS
I chatted with Crystal on msn, HAH. Shui jing (crystal). And she suddenly ask me how I deal with my emotions because I always appear so happy.
I GUESSED SHE READ MY BLOG AND FOUND OUT THAT I ACTUALLY USE MY BRAIN.
K, so I don't really like to treat this blogging space as someplace where I vomit out all my unhappiness and bla bla like a mad woman. But I do. You still see entries about me complaining like hell, about ANYTHING. From poor services to people I detest, so that makes me sound like a spoilt brat.
I guessed, only a few had seen or heard me going mad, or sad. Which I want it to remain THAT way. Like heck, why would you want people to probe into your life. By kicking up a fuss over some minor things like overcooked chicken breast. And you know what, I feel that those who rants everyday are hardcore attention seeker.
Examples of that includes people with O-I'm-so-sad nicknames on my MSN list.
HEY ALL YOU PEOPLE WITH SUCH NICK ON MSN, NOW YOU KNOW WHY YOU ALWAYS SEE ME OFFLINE!
GAHS. sickening.
K maybe I'm contradicting myself by adding this entry. And a few entries back I also blogged some saddy paddy post. BUT HELL. LOOK! IT'S NOT A TREND TO BE SAD 24/7 SO SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY!
You know who I'm refering to you tooty pie.
Penned at 8:41 PM
♥ My Mother ♥
3.25.2006
No no, this will NOT be an entry complimenting the good food she cooks to fatten me, the endless hour she spent mopping the floor and stuffs. BUT. This is an entry COMPLAINING about her. I have such a "funny" mum (note: I used funny because i supposed i will be deemed UNFILIAL for calling her annoying).
Here goes. Some time last week, God knows what happened but she got herself a numb cheek, the left side. So, she started complaining that well...SHE'S GOING TO DIE. And you know, my FUNNY mother said FUNNY things like:
without me ar, this house will grow cobwebs, then the spiders will come and eat you all ar.
JingJie (yes, im so respected at home. They call me BY MY NAME =X) if I die ar, you know my money la your certs la all at where anot?
Yes mam.
GOD
Then, she kept using a roller thing and went up and down on her face. IT'S LIKE MOWING A LAWN. GAHS. And everyday, she will stare at me in the eye and ask: my face swollen anot?
LIKE I SAID, NOBODY'S FACE IS SYMETRICAL! I kept telling her that, but she just tsk me like an irritated lizard. GAHS.
Since last week, she's been calling relatives and COMPLAINING that: aiya, THAT JingJie ar, holiday also won't do housework for me one la. Want me to die faster.
HEY HELL! Me? Housework?! NONE?!
Hey i know generalisation when i see one ok. I know what's the difference between MOST cats can't fly and ALL cat's can't fly (yea like, I'm not using races just in case I ignite the very next racial riot).
SO. I wash the clothes, hang them up, AND FOLD THEM. Like hell! Ok, so any mother reading this will go:
AHHHH, wash clothes just throw in clothes la. SO easy.
RIGHT! Since it's so easy why can't you do it YOURSELF?! GAHS
Being an ultra mahjong fan (yes, she practically plays WEEKLY), she just ZOOMED to her ka-ki's place every weekend to get her stubby fingers on the tiles. YUCK. Then! When the relatives call, they will ask her to CUT DOWN on mahjong since she's NOT feeling well.
Her reply: AIYA! NOW IS MY FACE NUMB, MY HANDS OK RIGHT. SO NEVERMIND LA.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Since you've said your hands got NOTHING wrong, why must you COMPLAIN that i DON'T do housework? LIKE FUCK.
Now, she's threatening to QUIT her job because her face is NUMB. Hell.
Maybe I'm not exaggerating enough. But she REALLY thinks that she will die because of this constant numbness. And she's been telling the whole world how SOLID her face feels. LIKE ROCK.
Then, just now my relatives were at my place (fine, MY PARENTS' place).
ITS LIKE SEEING HER FOR THE LAST TIME.
Penned at 11:37 PM
♥ Rank 93? ♥
I was SO excited when I looked at the sidebar just now. At what? Well, scroll down till you see a whole bunch of icons crowded together. Then, there's this icon labeled "Singapore bloc rank".
Wait for it until you see the number.
I don't know about you, but the latest I see, I'm 93rd? WHAT THE HELL!? So dumb. So I went to the site and looked at those blocs around mine (rank 90+ etc). And then I went "CHEY, NO WONDER LA"
Because erm. ha. You can tell we just "blog for fun" one. It's maddening. And of all, MINE doesn't have any ratings. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE click on that link and rate it!
you know what I feel like doing? CLINK ON THE LINK AND RATE MYSELF. Maybe 5 stars. But I decided not to stoop to being such low lives. =)
That's all.
Penned at 9:13 PM
♥ Which superstar do you resemble? ♥
3.24.2006
www.myheritage.com - I found this funny site at Shuyin's blog (she's a good friend of xiaxue that't why) and was DYING to try it out. Then i think think think, well, maybe not. So I went back to XiaXue's blog and clicked on Kenny Sia's blog. AND IT'S THE SAME SITE MYHERITAGE DOT COM. So in the end i tried it out. Oh ya, Kenny Sia is SMART.
I threw in LOADS of my pictures before I went hair crazy. =)
And.
I could've just died.
This was the first result I got:
I was like, OH MY GOD THIS GUY IS SO UGLY. And I ran to the nearest mirror and looked up, down, left, right. WHERE THE HELL SO I RESEMBLE HIM?! AHHHHHHHH. He's so freaky, and, I don't know what else to say. 64% somemore! GAHS
Look at this second result:
WHO IS HE!? I'M OLD. What the hell. Heart-broken. 66%! FUCK. GAHS
And then this:
May I add that I'm SO happy it's not those funny people anymore. And also I did NOT photoshop this image, so you see the chubby chubby, pimply pimply (well not quite), messy hair, oily nose me.
And the ugliest of me is actually Jesse McCartney! 66% somemore! COOL. Sighs
Coming up: A WOMAN
And I thought I'm supposed to be PRETTY?!
I really went bonkers, that totally made me feel that I'm the ugliest creature on earth! (don't try it if you got high ego)
NEXT PLEASE
The last one: Andy Lau
You know what? I think the system prefers me without any photoshop. I swear by my heart that I did not photoshop this image, NOR the Jesse McCartney one. WHOO. Maybe next time, I shall just NOT do any editing and let all the blackheads and pimples show.
MUAHAHAHHAHA
Do you people remember seeing this?
HEH HEH HEH, LET'S TRY
GAH, no matches. DAMN. I was expecting a rat-like person.
WHICH CELEBRITY DO YOU RESEMBLE!
Oh, dear friends, tell me when you've the results. TEEHEEHEE.
Penned at 4:47 PM
♥ Mediacorp artistes ♥
I was getting real bored so I decided to go channel 8's website to check the programme list. As in, I might go watch some TV later. Then I stumbled on this page with ALL the artistes' information. Being such a poor kid with NO cable TV. I'm stuck to seeing these people's faces everytime.
So i decided to list down a few which I like. I TELL YOU AR! LIKE HOR.
Start with the females.
Joanne Peh. She gives me the kind of kind counsellor feel. Then i really didn't notice she has a mark at her bottom lips. sometimes it appears and sometimes its not there. SO NICE CAN.
Sharon Au. She go study liao. But i LOVE her humour mans. She's like, so eloquent. Be it those reality shows, talk shows or blas, she can handle them so well. LIKE GUO LIANG.
Kym Ng. HAH. Just looking at her face makes me laugh like hell. Shes so funny la! Then she's the kind that will NEVER admit that she's old.
Fiona Xie. WHOA. She's the cute cute kind that will make you want to pat her on the head. I saw her on TV with Ben Yeo today, hosting the tuorism thing. SHE'S sO CUTE IN THE KOREAN OUTFIT CAN. (can can can)
Think there's no more females de le. Now, males.
HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA, I'M KIDDING! Seriously i tihnk his acting is not bad. But. I DON'T LIKE HIM, HE LOOK LIKE THOSE VILLIAN KIND.
Vincent Ng. You know what, look closely and you can see his big small eyes. LIKE ME. BUT, I am picky enough to get ALL my pictures corrected. So forget about digging through the web for my ugly photos.
Ben Yeo. Oh my god, this guy. He's hosting the tourism thing with Fiona Xie. The two of them are SO cute can. Oh ya, he's married you know? CAN'T TELL EH.
Pierre Png. He looks different in channel 5 and channel 8 leh. I like his ang moh ang moh chinese in xing shan shan. WAKKAKAAKAKA. I LIKE HIS DAUGHTER MORE. ANGIE. (the little actress)
K done. OVERALL WINNER
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FIONA XIE AND BEN YEO! WOOTS!~
Penned at 1:40 AM
♥ WHAT! ♥
3.23.2006
Today is such a DUMB day. I lost my hair! It's so fucking short now! It makes me look like a dork+nerd+geek TOGETHER. IM UGLIER THAN USUAL~ GOSH.
Totally bad! I don't understand why the person who did this to my hair is so proud of her own work, exclaiming: WAH, SHORT HAIR NICER.
NO
And my mom: SO PRETTY (YES! MY mother uses PRETTY. P.R.E.T.T.Y ON HER SON. S.O.N. AHHHHHH)
BAD
Change topic. What irks me. PLEASE PEOPLE. I'm tired of BEGGING for apologies from you. You know you're wrong, don't tell to prove to me that you're right! And have the decency to apologize. Although i may not neccessary accept it. BUT IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. Stupid people. GAHS.
I hope someone clones more of myself so I can understand the world better.
MY HAIR IS UGLY! Don't you laugh at that, because i believe they will grow back!
GAH. HOLIDAYS SUCKS
Penned at 8:26 PM
♥ Boredom drives me MAD ♥
I woke up this morning, and this image of a corndog popped into my mind. I realised I've not had it for, hmm, 2 years plus? Baa.
Usually I get them from California Lemonade. There was one at Downtown East and one at the basement of Tampinese Mall. But heck. The Downtown East one closed down and I can't find the one in TM, so I assume it also closed down la.
You mean you don't know what is a corndog?! GOSH. Here, let me show you.
This is a corndog. Like the name suggest, it is a cross between a corn and a dog. What? no I doubt it's a vegetable, no, I don't think it's a type of meat either. You know, it belongs to the category stuck in the middle of veggie and meaty, something like the eggs.
It cost around 1000 bucks each, depending on the species you intend to buy. Like, long hair Chi hua hua corndog do cost more than any normal Maltese or whatever~ YES, you get to select your own dog! I LOVE that part. because you hear the corndogs whimpers but they got no legs to run.
Eww, that sounds disgusting.
Fine, people who KNOW what is a corndog should find the above paragraph ridiculous and revolting. Seriously, ever heard of hotdog? It has nothing to do with dogs right? (I think so, unless they use the meat from dogs to make them way before our time).
This is how an authentic corndog looks like
I think it's yummy. =) But i can't find it now. Please tell me where to hunt it down.
Holidays drive me nuts. I went blog surfing the whole day man. And I realised the latest trend is to show the whole world what you've been chatting with your friends on your msn list about. So i did the same. Most people may find my screenshots "captivating" because I use Macintosh, different window styles from Windows. Don't worry, I don't know what's a Mac until I'm 17, which is the beginning of last year. Go to dictionary dot com.
This, is from Janice. Crappy woman. I was telling her I saved 18 bucks or 8 bucks on a thingy call speed balls or spit balls. Yes, Seowfen old me she got her's for don't know how much. I almost fainted. Because it is JUST A BALL THAT YOU SPLIT INTO TWO AND PLACE IT UNDER YOUR LAPTOP, to make it tilt (air circulation). Kay, I seriously don't know what it's call, SO i think some gadgety person will correct me.
Then here's my senior from secondary school, it doesn't pay to ask about them.
I'M FAT. my definition of fat is as above. GOD
And this last person wishes to be anonymous =).
Penned at 3:12 AM
♥ Never say die GAHS ♥
3.22.2006
I was lying on the sofa and staring at the TV screen just now, then the funny commercial of "yong bu yan bai" came up.
With all the persistant people who participated in various other "I AM HUNGRY FOR FAME" programmes.
So i told myself:
"I die die must watch this show and see how the producer/s intend to joke and gloat at these people's clumsiness."
So i grabbed my camera and got into my standby mode in front of the TV. Am i glad NONE of my neighbours walked past during the whole 1 hour. I was holding a camera and shooting pictures off the TV madly.
I realized someone who entered this reality show agreed with my statement. He too, thinks that the existence of this programme is nothing but part of producers wanting higher viewer rates (if that's what you call it). Then he was somewhat "reprimanded" by one of the judges, who obviously thinks that his thinking is a no-no.
It's him
He said something like: the purpose of this programme is to make the contestants look like fools on TV and bla bla bla.
Who know?~ I shall stick to my PERSONAL VIEW that this programme exist just to attract attention of people who wants to laugh at the contestants' stupidity. And it attracted me.
Coming up first, there's this woman who i have very deep impression of. She the auntie who BEGGED for another chance in project superstar. I still remember she went like this: "I'm already 30, please give me this chance." But bla, she's out. I mean, she would've gotten in if sher got some fab voice like Theresa Teng right?
The way she dresses today is fine, but Kim feels that there's something off with her shoes. And insisted that the poor lady show her the shoes she claimed to have brought. Which sadly I doubt so since she's reluctant to take it out.
In the end? Oh, she feels that the shoes she brought are a little dirty, so guess what? SHE'S NOT WEARING THEM.
Bullshit. What priceless feet you got there.
This person gives me the creeps
He reminds me of those thick eyebrows uncle who sits at one filthy coffee shop in Geylang, while stirring his thick coffe, puffs a cigarette. Look at his attire~ I guess he got it from "zhen zhu fang" once upon a time. And at home, he dug it out and exclaimed to whoever was around "AIYO EH, AH NI SUI DE SHIRT I HAVE AR. MUST WEAR FOR AUDITION MAN"
I like this specs though. Oh, he's doing different roles =D. That explains the identity split.
We know people LOVE to imitate the idol they resemble, be it in terms of voice, action, look. But, look at this guy, he don't look like the singer, he do't sing like the singer, AND he dances completely different to the MTV.
Hi, I'm Wang Xin Ling wannabe. Want some mascara on your pretty lashes?
Use Guo Mei Mei brand insecticide. Kan jian zhang lang, wo bu pa bu pa la~
And the attempt to imitate their favourite idols continue...
This guy needs to see a doctor for his serious case of constipation. I don't know why, but he claims that he is a "yang guang nan hai" meaning, sunshine beach boy. Like. I am chao ji da shuai ge. Wait a second, I AM.
This woman is quite a poor lady.
When Patricia Mok asks her who she feels that she, herself resembles. The "humble" lady suggested Fann Wong. Yes, the fair skin, round head, big eyes, flawless skin mediacorp actress who acted in some Hollywood movie with Jackie Chang. THAT Fann Wong.
Being such a kind soul, i just giggled at her assumption. At least, that what the lady thinks, like I claimed to be a prince~
But Patricia Mok, being sucha meanie as usual, rebutted her and shouted:
"I THINK YOU LOOK LIKE XU CHUN MEI LEH"
Well, maybe it's not that bad, afterall, Xu Chun Mei feels that herself is gorgeous.
This guy reminds me of a lecturer in TPDS! I swear I wanted to send smses crazily to all my TP friends and exclaim that I see some desperate lecturer on TV! But no. I'm an angel. He is such a..."nan gao ying" can. And, the high pitch is nowhere near the high pitch like that of Fei Yu Qing. YES, Fei Yu Qing got CLEAR voice, like flowing river.
I wanted to hurl abuses at this guy for trying to speak of his own style. When asked where he got his style from, he said no reference. THEN, he added that he refered to the visual rock bands in Japan. I think he needs to do more researches. Or maybe, slim down.
Pardon me, but hasn't the King Kong craze died off? Oh, he's outdated.
Obviously she didn't say that, I included that for FUN. It was a total unexpected shot. I wanted to take her recovering from her bent position and sliding her hands past the inner thighs and the harassing her oily hair.
Britney wannabe here. And she's filial, she want to be famous so that people will show more RESPECT for her mom in Malaysia. Aye what a good girl.
no offence~
I like this next guy. As in, i like his humour. NOT him. Like eww, I've made it clear that if one day i turn gay, i will fall for MYSELF.
Mr goofball
Lemme explain which part made me roll over and laughed like a mad hyena. At first, Kim/Kym is supposed to be his girlfriend. THEN, Patricia Mok came and claims to be his girlfriend too. And Mr goofball exclaimed:
"GUI AH!" which literally means GHOST!!! in simple chinese.
So i laughed.
Then Kim/Kym forces Mr goofball to drive Patricia Mok away with her squeaky voice saying "wo bu guan bla bla bla".
And he started chanting some holy sutras. LOL
Saving the best for the last, Singapore's Ru Hua. K, she requested that we, do not call her by Ru Hua ever again. She is "something Xue Hua" I think~
NOTE: If by any chance you think that I am making fun of these contestants, I'm NOT. I merely find some of they actions amusing and wishes to share the joy they brought to me. Please also note that I did not include any picture of Steven Lim or whatever you call him. Because I feel that i don't fancy his action enough for me to spend any time blogging about the eyebrow trimmer (yes he trims eyebrows for a living, but I doubt he will still be lurking outside TANGS after his glory through this programme. SO get your brows trimmed by him quick, before he becomes famous, now obnoxious.)
Penned at 11:02 PM
♥ Useless survey ♥
Some survey appears more stupid than others. Trying to estimate the percentages of geek, dork and nerd in you. GAH. Totally wrong.
Joe Normal
8 % Nerd, 17% Geek, 30% Dork
For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.
This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.
For one, i don't even watch star trek. What the hell is that. And i don't enjoy classes at the end of the day. I sat for SSP throughout my secondary 4 years and it sucks. The stumble part is true.
I hope I'm typical too, despite all the attention I get.
Take the dumb test here.
Penned at 4:03 PM
♥ Introducing the new blog ♥
Yea, new blogskin.
I wanted to get my hair cut today. But I went to look at my archives and realized my short hair makes me ultra fat. So im stuck between cutting and not cutting. The long fringe brushes against my nose and it makes me want to sneeze. GAH.
Let me introduce my new blogskin abit. The layout is pretty much the same as the previous, only that this one is leaning on the left side of your screen. I also brought the sidebar to where it should be-the side. I made the profile picture change on mouseover because i saw an entry on xiaxue's blog that has these mouseover images and i found them cool.
The main picture at the top can be changed by clicking on the 4 flowery-icony thingys, so you never get bored of this ONE blogskin. BRILLIANT. I included several cute icon at the sidebar because I find them cute la (the icons). Then I included a link-me-back icon too, though it won't be wise to load it in photobucket =/.
And lastly, my customized webcounter!
THANK YOU THANK YOU.
Penned at 12:50 PM
♥ STOP SAYING I'M BLOGGING BORE ♥
I've heard people saying that my blog is getting boring. GAHS. And I shall not avoid the fact that i am blogging because I want people to come in and read my nonsensical thoughts. I CRAVE FOR ATTENTION SO SHOWER ME WITH YOUR CRITICISM.
Well, so Miss Chan brought that to me recently when we went out for a bingeing spree. SEOUL GARDEN. We argued over it, cos many of her friends claim that seoul garden's food is way below universal "fresh" standards.
BUT, being such a spoilt brat, i will DEFINITELY not opt for some poor air conditioned, filthy, plastic seats places. Like those by the road with some weird uncles or aunties who will come up to you and: yao chi huo guo ma? (want steamboat?).
So I rebutted by saying the food smell "not fresh" because seoul garden is always in a mall with no decent air circulation. Kristel nodded abit.
Then I continued, other out-tak places don't marinate your chicken and beef and fish and blas. Kristel exclaimed: OH YA!
And i added: You can't find places where you make your own ice kachang and get mountains of ice cream piled up without getting anyone's attention. And they don't really charge for food wastage.
And so i won the war of "which steamboat place to go"
After getting much food and seated down comfortably at the table, Miss Low came. As usual, LATE.
So we started chatting, competing with the splattering of oil and the mad howling of a guy next to our table.
He went like this: WAH, BLA BLA BLA BLA BLEE BLEE BLEE BLOO BLOO BLOO BLAM SLAM MAM HAM DAMN.
One word: irritating
Back to poor blogging:
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I stopped, the piece/slice/lump of red char siew hung helplessly on the wooden chopsticks. Hmm, i thought to myself, yeah hor, my blog is getting real boring. It's becoming like those teenage girls who try to complain to the whole world about their woes in relationships and their wants in superficial society.
I looked back at the history of my blog, and one entry caught my eye, it had ChangBoon's face next to a dinosaur. I LAUGHED LIKE HELL. And i realised The way i blogged really changed.
So lets switch it back.
The char siew chicken yelped in pain, while the other food begged for mercy.
No chance, i paid 12+ bucks for this meal and I'm not going to eat anything less than that just because these pathetic lumps begged on their....kness?...lumps...
I gobbled food down like I've not eaten for centuries (now children, that is exaggerating, a person who didn't savour anything for that long should be considered dead. Unless he sits under a big oak tree and gained enlightenment.)
Finally, we were out of that place. Putting the torture of scalding oil and noisy food + people behind us. And walked around boring-O Tampines Mall. I don't get why teenagers flock down to TM on weekends or holidays. It's boring, like hell. Maybe because i live in the east, so tada. TM is becoming more and more like a multi storey pasar malam
Once you step inside, you can hear screams coming from the top level arcade. Annoying. Then at the first storey, the big space always has the kind of "le long le long" things. And you see mad aunties trying to fit an XS tee-shirt into her son who wears XXL all along. Absurd.
I remembered one time, on the escalator. I looked down a I see RED briefs with some yellow wordings on it. I turned to Liting and asked: "Do you think the words are gong xi fa cai or zhao sheng gui zi?" because they are slapped right at the private area.
Liting laughed, when she settle down. She said: "maybe it's a very big FA"
LOFL
So now, the only attraction in TM is the GV and the rows and rows of capsule stations. I LIKE. And as usual i "ti-kum-ed" some. Kristel did too, but Wendy only stood by and watched.
We got those dogs that will float on water, and some will even paddle so that they actually move. Kristel got 2 floats and 1 pail. I got the pail on my first turn. HOW LUCKY. ayes~
And i suggested playing they right away, so we thought of some places with water. Like the basement and the roof. We decided on the roof in the end.
And i began my cam whoring hobby there. No, i won't post most of the photos here.
Let the zhu-rak-sick park tour begin.
oops, spelling..you NOW, not know. =). and it's whimpers.
Wendy, i don't know what you're taking. But i think you're holding your camera the wrong way.
After escaping death from the Kristosaurus...
The impact on the poor doggy was so great, he fell into depression..
But sadly, depressions make you dumber than usual...
And there's always someone who will offer to help, but also dumb enough to seek other's aid.
By then, he would've died.
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THANKS FOR READING
See ya~ =D
Penned at 2:05 AM
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