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♥ Questions not to ask me ♥
5.12.2008
Humans are curious by nature and they ask a freaking load of questions. Since birth.
"Mommy where do I come from?"
This is the most awkward question for a mother to answer her child. You will know what I mean when you have your own children. And PLEASE, never tell them they popped out from a rock or you picked them up from the rubbish chute. Be creative. Like..
"I went to Africa with Daddy last summer and we watched an elephant poo, that's when we discovered you and we decided to bring you back"
or
"I bought you from Macdonalds"
Anything but rocks and rubbish chute, so cliche.
Well, since I've been asked several questions over and over again by people, and I can't really sleep now, I might as well blog about them.
1) How long do you take to prepare for a day out?
The whole day. If I have no time to rush for. I feel that it's a need to wash myself clean, style my hair, fix my face, find a suitable attire, get a matching bag, try holeless socks, wear appropriate shoes and the list goes on.
But normally, all these can be accomplished in 1 hour.
If I don't take time to make sure I'm presentable I will feel damn awkward the whole day.
I know you're thinking "WON'T LOR". K fine. Wear those hole hole uncle singlet and fake crocodile shorts and the white slippers with blue rubber strap across, accompanied by oily, unstyled, even uncombed hair to your next visit to town.
2) Your hair looks like a wig, is it?
No, but I've dyed it many different colors, so many I've forgotten exactly how many. It is not yellow and it looks like a party wig. I take 5 minutes to style my hair using purple Gatsby wax. Please believe me, cos I'm serious.
I used to tell people I take 30 minutes to do my hair and that WAS true. Until I got better.
3) Why were you in science stream when you are interested in design?
I'm from Ngee Ann Secondary, and that school only cultivates doctors and lawyers and engineers and possibly members of parliament. All but not designers nor artists. I swear by my dick that there were no arts stream during my batch. I stared blankly at the yellow piece of paper and there were only 4 different classes, art was none of those.
4) Your fingernails look shiny, you buff them right!
No. Even if I did, does it matter to you? I did paint my nails black during a period of time, but I doubt that gives it the natural shine thing. I think it's probably my sweaty palms that contributes to the shine. I THINK.
5) Where do you do your hair?
It's those home salon kind of thing where you ring them up to make an appointment and viola, you can get cheap hair. And no I've never really stepped into places like STORM REDS SHUNJI MATSUO JEAN YIP etc because I've seen my friends who did their hair there. Ok lor, like that lor.
6) I looked at your pictures and I'm REALLY bothered by the pixels.
Cool, my intention was just to make you blind. You see, I don't find it a need to bring out my camera cos it will be another gadget to my bag, and it hell of a messy when you bring out so many things at once. I had to keep digging and digging and digging for just one stupid piece of gadget and possibly by the time I found it I will not be in the phototaking mood anymore.
I'm sure all of you had the experience right, as you get older your bag becomes more and more cluttered. It's no longer like primary school when all your books are lined up nicely, big files at the back, A4 textbooks at the middle, and small A5 exercise books right at the front. Then you have 2 spaces at the sides for your pencil case and waterbottle.
Typical arrangement lor.
7) You are not sexy/pretty/handsome/hot/good looking!
Urm, but you are?
8) Your english really really sucks, do you even know that? Stop blogging and go fry cockroaches.
ThAnKewW, ButT HorZs Ei TinKk HorRs, At LeSt Ei Am UnderStaNdAblE LaRxXx. Euu DuNcH TinK ShO MehXxXxXxxXXxXXxxXxXxxxx.
9) You can draw/paint for someone who didn't attend art lessons! Can you draw something for me!
Thanks, I know that. We've all been drawing since K1, what to expect. I bet you can too, is you lazy. And ya, I've not had any arts knowledge until Poly life. Which totally helped alot.
10) You use make up ar? What you put?
Just merely foundation, I don't consider lip balm as make up. I remembered there was once I just took out my lip balm and applied and two sua ku friends went "JJ! YOU'RE A GUY, HOW CAN YOU DO SUCH THINGS IN PUBLIC!". Fuck, it's just lip balm, so you're suggesting I let my lips dry and crack under Singapore's monstrous weather? I would put fake lashes and eyeliner and eye shadow and stuffs for really outrageous times. Which is soon. When Janice decides to do a photoshoot with me.
And so there you go. I thought there were more. But I can't remember them. It's 4.15 AM now and I'm JJ your beloved sexy alien from hell. Signing off.
 Penned at 3:44 AM
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